A move to any place translates into adjustments and new experiences. Our transition to this area has adequately proven what the MLA Style Guide reports: Southern California constitutes its own geographic region (ex: Midwest, New England) because of its unique culture and lifestyle.
If you are looking to define this regional uniqueness, we have identified the only word needed, MEDIA. As the world-famous home to Hollywood (and the name truly has evolved from a location to a way of life), SoCal is certainly big on movies. In just four months Arianna was cast in two “film festivals!” Let’s also not forget that the aptly named Studio and Panorama cities neighbor her school.
But you needn’t visit a theater to “see” a movie! In SoCal, a street with a business is also a street with a billboard. Granted, the occasional lawyer or realtor squeezes his name onto one of these immense and frequent signs, but most of the billboards find their parents and patrons in the media culture.
Now, I am a Vegas native. We have signs there, too. And Vegas perfected neon. So I am even used to bright, cannot-miss-it billboards. But, I have yet to join the happily desensitized SoCalians in *safely* driving past these supersized advertisements that are positioned at (is this even legal?) eye level. So, as I wait to make a turn on Victory Boulevard, Johnny Depp’s larger-than-life Mad Hatter likeness grins straight at me! As if he needs to be huge to be disturbing.
Luckily for the advertisers, billboard viewers who manage to drive collision free do find their way to the cinema. It must be something like Hoosiers attending high school home games even when they don’t know any of the players personally. After all, Movie Goers in Movie Town are simply supporting their local Ma ‘n’ Pop business, right?
Right. And Kirk and I learned this the hard way. Two months after the well-hyped release of “Avatar,” we were naïve enough to assume that we could purchase day-of tickets to the movie.
Now, let’s back up and put this in perspective. Kirk and Lauren, who rarely go on dates, happen upon a rare weekend without travel or regular “life” constraints. After some complex negotiations, they Win Friends and Influence People to watch the beasties. Ah, dinner. Ah, evening. Ah, romance.
But in the theater, a cashier is already announcing a long list of sold-out movies. Guess what’s on the list? Yep. Our uninitiated brains struggle to believe that, at 7 p.m., there are absolutely no more showings available until...next week?!
“So, when does a guy have to buy a ticket for a movie on Saturday?” Kirk asks Customer Service.
Monday. And not just Monday. Monday, when the theater opens at 10 a.m. And there’s no hope of Fandango here, because each movie seat is assigned. That’s right. Movie viewing is a cultural art here. It’s no casual pastime!
So, no blue people. But Kirk does use Priceline reasoning to buy us last-minute handicapped seats to “Sherlock Holmes.”
Take 2.
Kirk cannot get “Avatar” off the brain. After all, it’s the costliest, highest-grossing, and bluest movie ever produced! And it comes with a plot!
“Did you know that CNN reported increased cases of suicidal thoughts in people who’ve seen ‘Avatar?’” I muse. “Apparently, it presents such an idyllic lifestyle that some viewers struggle to readjust to reality.”
“I know,” Kirk agrees. “Someone referenced ‘Avatar’ in Sunday School when speaking of utopian communities.”
“So, what’s it about?” I wonder somewhere along the I-405. The tickets are in Kirk’s wallet. The babysitter agreed to exchange her sanity for our pound of flesh. The gas tank is full. We are on our way.
“Aliens!” Kirk advertises.
“Blue aliens.” I add my research to his.
Having lived through the 80s, aliens will always be an also ran on my score sheet. They are probably on yours, too, so I will summarize the *bonus* plot in classical and accessible terms.
Act 1
Mercenary and explorer John Smith arrives in the New World with a group of extortionists and scientists. His job is to clear out the native people so the extortionists can make proper use of the untapped resources. The native people have a different skin color and use stone-age technology, so it’s okay to kill them and raze their land if they don’t leave willingly.
Act 2
John Smith meets Disney’s Pocahontas. He falls in love with her Amazonian skills and flower-child perspective. Pocahontas’s father is the tribe’s chief, so paternal nepotism allows Pocahontas to spare John Smith’s life and become his mentor. Kokoum doesn’t want his betrothed girlfriend to befriend the foreigner and places John Smith in perilous situations. John Smith overcomes his aversion towards ‘savages,’ masters their culture, and steals the heart of Pocahontas.
Act 3
Thanks to his contact with Pocahontas’s tribe, John Smith abandons his original plan to displace all native people. Alongside the scientists, he confronts the extortionists and ultimately leads the native people in a war against the foreigners. Kokoum dies in the battle. Defeated, the foreigners leave the New World, never again to return. John Smith and Pocahontas live happily ever after.
FOX was right! “Avatar” has a great plot! It’s the what-should-have-happened-in-the-Americas plot! And since the native people are blue, only the discerning film critic will realize that “Avatar” isn’t about aliens but instead features a retooled and historically idealistic American tale! That’s the kind of higher thinking that you get when you have more than 200 employees with bachelor’s degrees!
[Side note: fans of Stephenie Meyer’s Host will also recognize some parallel themes in “Avatar.”]
Now, for those of you “Avatar” aficionados who, like Kirk, are ready to enroll in study abroad on Pandora, here is the part where I compliment your new favorite movie.
There is no movie or video game to rival “Avatar” in graphic excellence. Everyone who sees the blue movie will discover a favorite visual effect, whether it’s the buoyancy of a developing body or the skin on a dragon’s wing. And the Pandora that grew from so many imaginations offers flora to inspire you and fauna to haunt your dreams. It is true: if you ever intend to see “Avatar,” do not wait to see it on television. The visual feast, the explosive creativity—it simply cannot justly translate onto a family room screen.
So, see the movie. Suspend your disbelief. Tap into an exotic ecosystem. Soar on menacing beasts. And be blue. If its utopia tempts you away from this world, then join Kirk on Pandora.
As for me, I am holding out for a paradise with fewer natural predators.
